unconventional

Think with me for a moment.  Really, really think.  If the situation was dire enough, could you ever consider allowing someone else to raise your children?  Would you ever think about letting someone adopt your child?

About 90% of the time, when discussing birthmothers with others, I hear the comment, “Oh, I could never do that!”

That comment, no offense to anyone, irritates me. 

And my initial thought is, “Yeah, you probably couldn’t.”  Few people in this world have enough love to give up something they adore…especially something that is literally such a vital part of themselves.  Few people in this world have the courage to face that heartache, that scrutiny, that emptiness.  Few people in this world would put their needs after the needs of their child.

But, you know what, I think I could do it.  I couldn’t do it alone…I would need God every day along the way.  I would need daily reminders that my child is in a better place.  I would have to cling to the hope that I could one day have a relationship with my child and that he/she would not just understand my decision, but even celebrate it.

By saying you couldn’t do, you are insulting yourself.  And maybe even doubting God a bit.  By saying you couldn’t do it, you might be giving other’s the impression that a birthmother is “bad” for giving up her child.  By saying you couldn’t do it, it makes adoptive families feel like maybe we aren’t the best people to raise children.

But, you know what, I think you could do it.