unconventional

I have long heard that being a mom is the most stressful, hardest job in the entire world.  I had a hard job once…working with kids who were victims of child abuse…but I admit that being a mommy is harder.  And I’ve recently decided that I’m just not cut out for it.

I’m not saying I’m going to get rid of my kids.  I’ll always be a full-time mom whose first priority is my children.  However, I’ve realized lately that God didn’t give me the stay-at-home-mom gene.  I’m really slightly sad about that…but there comes a time when you have to honestly evaluate if what you thought was best for your kids might actually be hurting them.

This morning on the way to school, Miller told Patrick that he sure hoped Mommy would have a good day today.  When Patrick asked why, Miller said that he didn’t want me to be grumpy when he got home from school.  Patrick thought it was funny and I certainly am entertained by how observant my oldest child is.  But I have to admit that more than anything, I was so sad.  Granted, the past two weeks since my surgery have been pretty rough and I’ve been more on edge than normal.  But I hate, absolutely hate, that my kids have to pay the price for my inability to not sweat the small stuff.

Well…I’m going to do something about it.  I don’t know what just yet, but it’s time I stop being Mean Mommy and go back to Fun Mommy.  Because the last thing I want my kids worrying about is what kind of mood I’ll be in.